Monday, May 4, 2009

A Fairy Tale Recession - A Recession Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom called Tanie where duchess Stephanie reigned, fair, good and righteous, she lead her people with a steady hand. The citizens of Tanie were a contented and happy people making their living from art and music. They traded with neighbouring kingdoms, making them sound and look smart and beautiful in exchange for consumables, this is how it worked, and it worked well.

Unbeknownst to the folk of Tanie, far away, beyond rolling hills and misty mountains, wide rivers, vast oceans and deep lakes, in a land called Subprime Mortgagia, a large, snake like monster called Recession, had been feasting on the interest payments made under duress by a poor, enslaved people. After 15 years of gorging, the beast had its fill. Recession slithered through the deep lakes, across the vast oceans, over the wide rivers, scaled the misty mountains and made its way through the valleys between the rolling hills, wreaking havoc in its wake.

Because of its epic size, and the speed at which it was traveling, no one had been able to have a good look at the monster, only feeling fear in the chill of its aftermath. However, the brave and ambitious Vinyl Knight from the neighbouring Kingdom of Satyria was hot on the monster’s trail, seeking a face-to-face with the slithering ogre, he knew that when you see a monster for what it really is, and hold a mirror up to it, it will simply recoil.

Exhausted after its long journey, but still bloated from its feast, Recession lay down along the border of Tanie to rest and digest. Although the citizens of Tanie had heard news of the trail of devastation left behind by this evil creature, none of them could have imagined its sheer magnitude. As the monster lay down, its girth alone cast a shadow over the whole of the land, and created an insurmountable wall across Tanie’s trade routes; encircling the entire kingdom, resting its head on the end of its tail, leaving no means of entry or exit.

In the meantime, the citizens rallied their efforts, exploring all possible routes; a large tunnel project was initiated and the plans drawn for a bridge; creativity and ingenuity abound in Tanie’s population.

Meanwhile, in the slipstream of the enormous and rapid Recession, the courageous Vinyl Knight had been making headway in his hunt for the Recession monster. Finally, he reached the border of Tanie, at first glance thought that duchess Stephanie had built a mile high wall around her kingdom, he was about to turn on his heel, when he felt the earth move under his feet. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the wall move and immediately realised what he was witnessing: the immense rumblings of a massive monster digesting after a lavish banquet, the tremour shook the ground, and in the distance he could see the monster raise its ugly head and let out a belch of fire and smoke, setting an independent bookshop, a deli selling organic produce, a family run restaurant and several surrounding homes on fire.

The Vinyl Knight saw the devastation and cursed Recession. At that moment, the intrepid team of Tanie tunnelers burst out of the ground right beside the Knight. They exchanged stories of struggle as they made their way into Tanie where the Vinyl Knight had an audience with the honourable duchess Stephanie. They spoke at length about the Recession monster and the Vinyl Knight told Stephanie about his plans to confront the ugly beast.

After a conference with the citizens of Tanie, the Vinyl Knight, duchess Stephanie and the folk of the kingdom set about telling the monster how they really felt about it. Armed with heavy artillery of satire and endless rounds of irony, they made their way through their new tunnel and around the ring of Recession. After a short pilgrimage, or long walk, depending on how you look at it, the unwavering group reached the face of the beast, after all reaching agreement that it must be awful to be that ugly, even for a monster, they got to work.

Many hands make light work, and in a matter of hours they had put up a huge mirror facing Recession, with the words “F*ck You Recession” written across it. However, no matter what they tried the monster would not be roused; they poked it with sticks, shouted at it, got a brass band to play on its head, tickled it with feathers, all to no avail.

However, the commotion attracted people from all around; curious and impressed or horrified and offended, the people gathered and spoke about the monster, able to see it clearly for the first time. The people in the neighbouring kingdoms helped the people of Tanie to dig more tunnels under the Recession monster and the people of Tanie were able to help beautify the ugliness the beast had left behind. That’s when they all realised that they were happy, they had come together, faced their fears and helped one another, working around Recession they lived happily ever after!

Mia Tagg 2009®

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