Sunday, May 17, 2009


Last week I was enjoying a leisurely afternoon in delightful and all too rare company, after a stroll, some lunch and a few coffees, my friend was heading into town to start work. On the way to the bus stop we stepped into a particularly good vintage shop to see what they had in store. I found a rather exciting, beautifully blue coat with big buttons and high collar, I didn’t have the £16 it cost on me, so I decided to walk Marsha to the bus stop and withdraw some money on my way back to Retro.

As we were chatting and walking, a boy was walking towards us, he was in his school uniform and he was heading right at us. As we got closer it became obvious that he was not like most other boys and that he wasn’t going to alter his trajectory one iota, so I sidestepped into the road and to my surprise, so did the schoolboy. As I swerved round him he shouted, “You’re a very pretty lady!” I mumbled “Thanks”, as I ran to catch up with Marsha.

When I returned to Retro to pay for the blue coat, I had forgotten all about the demented youngster, but I did notice that the shop assistant was taking an unusually long time over this fairly straightforward transaction. As she handed over the bag she said: Do you mind hanging around? There’s very strange person in the changing room. Not at all, said I, and carried on perusing the contents of the shop. I was closely examining a silver lamë clutch bag with a particularly pleasing and intricate clasp, when the very strange schoolboy emerged from the changing cubicle. Although now he was not wearing his school uniform, he was wearing a denim mini skirt and a silk and lace crop top, to emphasise how pleased he was with this outfit, he was also sporting a rather impressive erection.

As our cross dressing hero performed, what is probably best described as an exotic dance, on the shop floor, the shop assistant and I cast each other a glance of mutual confusion. How do I look? Asked the schoolboy mid pirouette. Very nice, said the shop girl, Although, I do think you should probably go a couple of sizes up. It looks a little tight I could see what she meant, the boys erection was suspending the denim skirt at a gravitationally impossible angle, lifting it up, so that you could see his underpants and the top was so tight across his chest and shoulders that he couldn’t lift his arms more than 25 degrees. Do you think so? Asked the boy, I feel great. Can I walk around the block with the outfit on? I promise Ill come straight back.

“Oh no”, I winced pathetically. “Absolutely, not. That would be such a bad idea. Now change back into your school clothes and go straight home”, said the Retro girl. The boy looked a little disappointed, but did as she said.

Ever since, I can’t help feeling really worried about the schoolboy. What if he does go out for a walk in tight fitting girls’ clothes and an obvious boner? There’s only two types of people, I can think of, who would pay him attention, and those are the types of people no one wants attention from, because they’re sick and nasty.

Mia Tagg 2009®

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